tobermory's Diaryland Diary

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Whiz kid

I am living with an anonymous pee-er. Said pee-er has fur and four feet Ė thus eliminating Steve and I from suspicion. About four weeks ago I finished all my nightly bathroom duties and hopped into bed. I started reading and then I felt something kinda wet near my left under boobal region. I figured I either hadnít been vigilant enough with the post-shower toweling or else I had leaned up against the sink area and gotten myself wet. Then I started to think about it and investigate further and I realized that it was not I that was damp, but the comforter. And the blanket. I was puzzled, but only for a second because then the smell hit me. Cat pee. It was so late there wasnít much I could do. I Febreezed the shit out of everything, thanked god that it wasnít a big spot, and turned the blankets around so the pee area was at the bottom. The next morning I tore off the top blanket (which absorbed the majority of the pee) and put it in the washer and figured that this was a one off deal. My cats DO NOT pee outside the box. Ever. Then, blissfully, there were no more incidents of inappropriate pee. I figured it was a one-off kind of deal where one of the cats Ďleakedí or something. Then, a week ago Thursday I came home from the shelter and went into the bedroom to change before heading out to the bar with Steve and our friend John - I spotted the tell-tale wet spot (sadly not THAT kind of wet spot). I went into full freak-out mode Ė I mean we were leaving the next day for our Milwaukee weekend and I didnít want to return to La Casa del Piss. I hustled Steve and John out the door and immediately called Megan for advice. She asked me when the last time was that I had totally dumped the litterboxes and scrubbed out the pans and hoods. She figured it was a bad sign that I couldnít remember having totally cleaned them out since we moved in Ė which was almost two years ago. So that became the game plan. I dumped and scrubbed the main box and I could concede that it needed a wee bit of cleaning, but it wasnít completely gross. Then I moved on to Box Deux. This box is in the bedroom and sits on a small bathmat to help keep litter tracking to a minimum. I picked up the box and immediately noticed that the rug was damp and there was pee behind the box. Ivy is what we refer to at the shelter as a Ďhigh-pee-erí meaning she doesnít squat when she pees and basically a stream of whiz squirts directly out the back end. Thatís why I have hoods on the boxes. Anyway, I must not have put on the hood straight and pee must have leaked out over the edge for a couple of days, and then it got hot, and then it got stinky. I not only dumped and scrubbed the box and hood, but I washed the bathmat with bleach and I cleaned the floor area where the pee puddle was. And since I was in full-on cleaning mode I also: did the laundry (including all cat bedding that had become, over time, very hairy and a bit whiffy), actually put away my clean clothes, vacuumed, straightened up, and packed. When Steve finally came home he was very impressed by my Mad Domestic Skillz. So, I had eradicated the leakage from the bed and cleaned up the mess that I assumed was causing the revenge peeing, but because you can never really comprehend how the teeny little brains of cats work I wanted to be safe over the weekend and I kept the door to the bedroom closed. Steve and I came home to a pee free home, but I was not totally convinced. All last week we put a shower curtain under the top blanket of the bed each morning JUST IN CASE. But, no pee. The, this morning I go into the bathroom to pee, and there is a pee puddle on the toilet at the back behind the seat and the pee has also leaked down the side. I cleaned it up, but now Iím wondering Ė did Steve have a mis-aim in the middle of the night, or did the Anonymous Pee-er strike again in a different place? I was all set to leave the shower curtain off the bed today (because nothing says Crazy Cat Lady like having a shower curtain on your bed) but JUST IN CASE I left it on. I did ask Steve is he might have, oh, I donít know, PEED ALL OVER THE TIOLET? But he said he couldnít be sure. So, Iím taking the safe route and Iíll cover the bed for awhile longer. The last thing I need is to have to buy a new tiny mattress. Iím saving up the bux for either a Tempurpedic or a Sleep Number Ė but whatever I buy, itíll be a queen for sure.

Thatís all for now. I have an uber-busy weekend on tap so there will be lots to update about later.

2:49 p.m. - 2004-05-21

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