tobermory's Diaryland Diary

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Shit. And Pee.

I received a rather disturbing phone call from Steve. It would seem that he knocked my athletic watch off of the bathroom vanity and into the toilet as he was flushing, and my watch was flushed merrily away. Except not so much. You see, when your husband is an amateur plumber who has several tasks at hand that he doesn’t really want to do he might, say, decide to take apart the toilet to retrieve your watch because then he wouldn’t have to start priming two floors worth of new drywall. Since the watch is a fairly old beat up digital Timex Rush that cost about $20, I would have been willing to let it go wherever flushed things go and use it as an excuse to buy myself some sort of shiny new watch that would do fancy things and not be in a totally outmoded color combo. But no. I am now the owner of, as Steve dubbed it, The Shit Watch. Don’t you wish you could be me? I think this watch may be relegated to alarm clock only duties for awhile and then it will mysteriously disappear and The Shit Watch will be no more. Because who really wants to put The Shit Watch on their wrist?

In similar bodily excretion gross-out stories, I went to the pool at my gym last Friday to get in some laps for the triathlon challenge. I am never, ever going to go to the pool during the week in the middle of the day again because it was completely clogged up with crabby, pushy, old Korean women. One of them pushed me out of the way to steal the open shower stall that I was headed to so I was forced to go to the back bunch of shower stalls (undesirable because they are further away from the pool). Now, in each shower stall there is a notice printed in both English and Korean that spitting and/or urinating in the shower is strictly prohibited and is cause for instantaneous termination of your membership. Apparently the woman next to me was illiterate in both languages because she either dumped out a bottle of lemon Gatorade or she peed in the shower. Now what’s the protocol here? I mean, I was nude and presumably she was too so it wasn’t like I could reach in and grab her by the ear and march her to the front desk. I also assume that by the time I dried off and dressed that she’d be long gone. So, I guess I have to indelicately ask at the front desk what I am supposed to do when the incontinent moron next to me befouls the communal drain area. Bleh. Remind me when I win the Powerball Lottery to build a lap pool into my house so I don’t have to deal with this anymore. Also, note to self – try to find the old pair of platform flip-flops with the ridiculous 3” sole as now they make much more sense. And don’t even suggest that I switch gyms because once this stupid challenge is over I plan on avoiding the pool as if it contains drug-resistant staph virus, which it probably does, and I imagine that people are disgusting and pee in the pool/shower area/Jacuzzi at pretty much every gym so I’d be switching gyms for no good reason.

Indoor Triathlon Challenge Current Stats as of 02-26-2008
Running:
Goal: 26.2 Miles run: 10.25 Still need: 15.95
Cycling:
Goal: 112 Miles cycled: 18.6 Still need: 93.4 – crap, that’s a lot.
Swimming:
Goal: 88 Laps completed: 38 Still need: 50

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4:00 p.m. - 2008-02-26

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