tobermory's Diaryland Diary

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Valvewiches anyone?

I thought of a funny story while I was waiting in the deli line at the supermarket last night. Being of German extraction, I have a proclivity to be willing to eat strange sandwich loafs and liverwurst-y things. Most people wisely give them a wide berth, but I belly right up to the counter and say, �A half-pound of braunschweiger please!� This has not served me well. Some time back I made the mistake of ordering some sort of olive loaf that looked fantastic. To me. But as it obviously didn�t look too hot to the rest of the sandwich meat buying public it had probably been sitting around in the deli case a bit past its prime. The fact that there was only about 2� of olive loaf should have been a tip-off, but I soldiered bravely on and within 24 hours of eating the loafy goodness I was puking my guts out with a mild case of food poisoning. But the real funny story happened when Steve and I visited New York in January. On our last day our host (and my old room-mate) Rob suggested we lunch at the caf� at the new German museum. He said that they had a fancy chef imported from Austria and the restaurant was getting all the raves. So Steve and I tripped merrily into the dining room and were seated amongst the splendor of some long dead wealthy person�s old drawing room. Steve wasn�t too hungry so he ordered a pastry and coffee. I was famished and was thrilled to see a liverwurst sandwich on the menu, which I promptly ordered. It came open-faced on rye bread and it looked great. I took a bite and it was fantastic � obviously homemade. Then on bite two I got something that was a little rubbery. In my younger days that would have thrust me straight into vomitsville, but I�m older now and more mature so I continued eating and the rest of it was good although the enjoyment was tainted by the rubbery thing. But I figured that lightening wouldn�t strike twice in one place � I had already bit down on the rubbery thing and it couldn�t happen twice now, could it? It did. On the last bite (actually, there were about three bites left, but I wasn�t going to tempt fate again) I bit into something qross. I�m quite sure it was some sort of valve or vascular thingy. Yeah, I know, cry me a river � this is what happens to those who eat organ-meat sandwiches. But most liverwurst sandwiches are very paste-like due to what must be intense grinding � just not the valvewich I was just subjected to. Obviously this chef�s vision was very textural. I tell you it was all I could do to not retch at the table. There was not enough gum in the world to eradicate the valvey feeling and taste left in my mouth. Yick. I�ll be staying far, far away from the organ-meat lunchables for some time now. Bad things come in three and I�m not going to put myself in the position for strike three.

Just a shortie today, I have to go mentally prepare to further my archery suckiness with another round in the 600 league which I just may begin calling the 666 league.

4:08 p.m. - 2004-04-06

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