tobermory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm so pretty! I still don�t get how this diet is going to work. I just had a bacon mushroom cheeseburger (no bun, of course) for lunch and it seems really wrong. It did work last time (before the sojourn to the lands of noodles, bread and beer) so I guess I�ll just keep on keepin� on. I�m hoping that it won�t sap my energy when I run. I figure if I can hold out the necessary two weeks than I can move into �phase 2� where I can eat some things like apples and brown rice to bring back the energy producing carbs. I hate brown rice, but I figure that by the time I�m allowed to have it, it will be a New Taste Sensation! and I�ll like it. Yeah, that�s the ticket. For those interested, I seem to be 2 lbs. down, but that could just be normal body fluctuations. The other thing is that this diet is messing with my digestive tract. Folks, it doesn�t take much to send my quirky intestinal system into a major freakout and apparently I�ve stepped over the line. I have the D-word. Those who know me will know that this means diarrhea. The D-word is among my least favorite words, others being: gown, slacks, and both. Both makes the list because if you listen carefully when most people say it they say �bolth� and for some reason that makes me want to shove bamboo under my fingernails. Go figure. The D-word is fairly self-explanatory. It�s gross, no-one likes it, and it�s unpleasant to have. But have it I do. And sadly I am saddled with inadequate toilets both at home and at work. If I have an �episode� at either bathroom it requires a double flush to avoid, as that guy from Ally McBeal would say, �remnants.� So embarrassing. My husband is a contractor for christ�s sake and one would hope that at least at home I would have a Big Powerful Toilet. Nope. We have some crappy leftover from a job he worked on before he knew me. I can only hope that everything stabilizes digestively in the next few days. If it doesn�t, maybe I can start steering Steve towards the power-flush toilets. I think all I�d have to do is stop double flushing at home and it�ll move him right into full-on plumber mode. To top it all off, I have cramps. And my purse container of Advil is empty. The slight vibration you may feel is me putting my head down on my desk and sobbing. The cramps have gotten better since I�ve been on the pill, but they still suck. If it weren�t for the whole osteoporosis thing I�d sign up for a voluntary hysterectomy. I mean, I�m certainly not using my uterus. Too bad I can�t offload it to someone who might enjoy having a working model � like a kidney donation. I have a confession to make. I did not shower yesterday. I�m not gross or smelly or anything, but I do feel a bit funky. Like I might have a thin layer of exuded oil all over me. The same feeling you have when you travel to far away countries on crowded planes and have to cross date lines with out showering. When I got home from the range last night I ate the cashew tofu that I had picked up from my local Thai joint (sadly, sans rice) and then promptly went into a PMS induced food coma and fell asleep on the couch while Steve watched the Cubs/Diamondbacks game. He knows better than to try to get me up and into bed � I usually growl at first and then if continually prodded I might bite - so he just left me there. I woke up about 11:45 and felt too groggy to shower so I just washed my face and brushed my teeth. I had all the best intentions of showering this morning but it just didn�t happen. The extra 20 minutes of sleep was more valuable to me than the squeaky-clean feeling. The only thing that really shows it is my hair. Being blonde, stick straight and fine textured, even the slightest extra bit of oil makes it clump together into chunks that fall, nay - slide, out of my ponytail. So unattractive. I�m sure that after I run tonight I�ll just be a picture of beauty with my red cheeks, sweaty brow, and greasy clumpy hair. If you�re driving through the swanky parts of Wilmette tonight keep an eye out for me. 4:11 p.m. - 2004-04-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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