tobermory's Diaryland Diary

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Radiation Ranch

They started radiation treatments on my mom � it should buy us a little more time.

I don�t really have much experience with death. My maternal grandparents were dead long before I would have been conscious of them (G-father died in WWII, G-Mother died shortly after I was born � massive stroke) and my paternal grandfather died before I was born. My Dad�s mother died in 1998 at the age of 98, and her sister died a year or two later at 96 � I was sad when they died, but it was time and in some ways even a bit of a blessing because they were both so very old and had lived full lives. When your Grandmother has been asking for a visit from Dr. Kevorkian for her last 5 birthdays in a row you know it�s time. I don�t really know how to act � how to accept comforting and support. I just dissolve into a sobbing heap. And every time I visit the hospital I cry � I so don�t want to upset my mom but I can�t help it. I swear I look like I�ve aged 10 years in the last week because I�ve cried all the moisture out of my face � I should put a small container of moisturizer in my purse.

That�s all for today � I have to post quickly because our internet service will be disrupted for the rest of the day.

Resolution Diary:
Exercise yesterday: 1 hr. pilates class. What-evah. I might be done with pilates for awhile � at least at the gym. There has to be some other class at around the same time that I could take instead � maybe a Muscle Definition class. I think I will investigate getting a couple of instructional DVDs though for at home use. I�m wondering if yoga right be better now � help me attain some sort of inner peace.
Dinner yesterday: I had some of the leftover jambalaya from Sunday, salad, a beer, and two lemon cookies for dessert.
Breakfast: coffee w/milk
Lunch: I think Steve is concerned that I�m not eating much so he�s trying to temp me. He packed my lunch today and put in a hunk of good Italian bread and a container of my favorite chicken salad from Treasure Island grocery store. I have to post this early because we�re having work done on our T1 line so I�ll post tomorrow whether or not it�s tempting enough.
Reading: I read a bit more of �The Cat Who�� last night. It still sucks. I can�t believe that this book could ever be published � the characters are lame and the plot is meandering and hackneyed. Waiting eagerly for my copy of The Ghost Orchid to get shipped form Amazon. I knew I should have ponied up for faster shipping.

10:20 a.m. - 2006-02-01

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