tobermory's Diaryland Diary

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I Know Where I'm Going

I swear I am the biggest �tard sometimes. I just hopped on Mapquest and looked up and printed directions from my work to Weetabix�s hotel and then from her hotel back to my home because we are meeting up tonight for some therapeutic shopping and dining and I need to know how to get to where she�s staying and then how to get back home again when we�re done with the evening�s revelry. Why is this dumb you ask? Because I spent an extra $1000 on my new car to have the fucking optional navigation system installed which will guide me right to the hotel if I plug in the address. I guess I can excuse myself because I�m not quite thinking clearly right now. This was in plain evidence yesterday when I made the coffee at work � something I do EVERY SINGLE DAY. I�m not complaining � it�s the only way I can be sure that it will be worthy of drinking. But yesterday I forgot the one critical step. We have a sort of half-assed coffee maker in my building. I bought a cheap-o one at Target (it was $10 � seriously cheap) and about a month after I bought it the carafe cracked. Even though it was only $10 for a whole new machine I couldn�t justify it so I rummaged around in the cabinets in the kitchenette and found about three carafes from previous coffee makers. One fit � almost. It�s a little too short so in order for the trip mechanism to work I have to wedge a plastic knife between the trip and the carafe. Nothing but the finest here. I remember to do this EVERY SINGLE DAY � except yesterday. When I went back to get coffee it had leaked all over the counter and onto the floor� watery coffee, coffee grounds � a real mess. Fun, fun, fun.

I�m in a little better state of mind today. They might release my mom tomorrow, which would be nice. I think part of my problem is seeing her in the hospital where she looks so vulnerable in the crappy attempt at a cheery hospital gown (light green with some plaid-y stripes of, I think, rose and blue) with all kinds of tubes and monitors hooked up to her. I think the idea that she might be released kind of freaks my dad out � he�s worried something might happen at home that he won�t be able to manage, but he�s working on finding out if he should hire a day nurse or rent a special bed. The long-term prognosis still sucks, but I know she�ll be happier at home and it will be easier for people to visit and to make calls. If she starts trying to give me things when I visit I�m going to bawl like a giant baby. I don�t want to think about that, but I know (from first hand experience with Steve�s and my house) that even if you think your family is close and loving and doesn�t give a shit about material things, when it comes down to it people � brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins - whatever, will fight like cats and dogs to get �stuff� that they think they deserve, so it�s best to work all that out while the person who owns the �stuff� can still direct traffic. I�m also glad that she�s coming home because, if she�s up to it, I can plonk her down in the kitchen and she can supervise and instruct me while I try to recreate some of her great meals � she is the best cook ever. I need to learn how to make: gravy, oxtails, her version of brisket, her turkey stuffing, steak tartare (I know there�s no cooking in this one, but I need to know what else she puts in it), and plenty more things I can�t even think of right now.

I�m very excited to see Weetabix tonight and it will be extra fun because Alli is coming along too. We can discuss plans for the Green Bay mini-con, hit Off 5th the Saks discount store and Nordstrom Rack, have a nice dinner, etc. I�ll detail all the fun goings on tomorrow.

Resolution Diary:
Exercise yesterday: Nada, although I did weigh myself again and, no surprise, I lost 5 lbs. since I found out about my mom. Apparently my bestselling diet idea will be to have a family member diagnosed with a life threatening illness which makes even the thought of food make the dieter want to throw-up. Couple that with incredible stress for 12 hours a day interspersed with crying jags for exercise. I�m proof � it works.
Dinner yesterday: I went out to dinner with Steve, my dad and my brother from El Paso (shut up � it�s February now so I can eat out again). I had hackepeter, a thuringer sausage, a couple of pieces of rye bread, spaetzle, and sauerkraut for dinner -can you tell we went to a German restaurant? My stomach must be shrinking because I ordered the whole wurstplatte but I was only able to eat one of the three sausages � back in the day I would have polished off at least two. However eating out and eating rich food does have its consequences. I had to do the green apple quick step to the bathroom first thing this morning � as in rushing out of bed to the bathroom. I guess there�s something to be said for preparing your own meals and being able to control every part of what goes in your body.
Breakfast: coffee w/ milk, small V8.
Lunch: lite yogurt. I�m not too hungry and there isn�t anything in the fridge at home for Steve to try to tempt me with so it�s just yogurt again. I�m sure I�ll make up for it tonight when I�m out with Weet and Alli.
Reading: still the crappyness of �The Cat Who�.�.

10:08 a.m. - 2006-02-02

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