tobermory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Linda Trippalicious All this crap with my mom has been making me think that I should have some medical tests done. Nothing major because I feel fine and I take care of myself, but it�s probably in my best interest to have a mammogram, a colonoscopy, and to have my moles mapped. I will turn 37 this year after all. I also have a mole on my face that I think I should have lopped off because it skeeves me out � it�s not hairy or anything, it�s just a little more prominent that I�d like. I had a couple of moles removed from my lower cheek when I was back in junior high because there was no Cindy Crawford around to make moles OK, and, again, because they skeeved me out. I had practically forgotten all about it until a few years ago when my mom called me, all excited, because it turns out that the plastic surgeon, Dr. Geoffrey Keyes, who did the work went on to much bigger jobs. Like fixing the ugliness that was Linda Tripp (as much as one COULD fix her problem with the ugly) and starting his own clinic in LA. This may explain why he was such a dick. I don�t think he spoke one word to me during the whole operation, which considering I was awake (just numbed) was a little disconcerting even for a 12 year-old. This is probably because he considered removing two small moles to be beneath him and he was doing this only as a favor to a fellow doctor who is a family friend of ours. Whatever, but Dr Keyes? I�d like you to know that I can STILL see the scars, small though they may be, and I hope you�ve developed a better bedside manner because I can only imagine the prices that you�re charging for boob jobs and liposuction out there in La-La Land and if you�re going to be charging people out the wazoo (to reduce their wazoos) then you better be nice to them � I understand that there�s a surplus of plastic surgeons in California. Speaking of boob jobs (which I haven�t had, and don�t need thankyaverymuch � I�ve got enough of my own to contain and deal with), I�ve posed the concept to BettyBigHead that perhaps at the Weetapie Con we can go TOGETHER into the photobooth at the Bad Bar. If one set of boobies on some stickers gets you free drinks all night, then I�d be interested in seeing what two sets of boobies on the same sticker would do for us. Bring on the top-shelf liquor! That�s it for today � it�s my day in the rotation to take my mom for radiation so I have to blow out of here at 2pm. Gotta get that work done. Resolution Diary: 10:41 a.m. - 2006-02-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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