tobermory's Diaryland Diary



Hereís an interesting phenomena that Iíve noticed as Iíve moved down two pants sizes and begun to Ďgo-shoppingí in my own closet. When Iím thinner I buy more expensive clothes. Sure thereís a few items from Target and some bargains from TJ Maxx/Marshallís, but thereís also an awful lot of really nice stuff from Bloomingdaleís, Nordstrom, Mark Shale, and small boutiques, all in the size 10 range and size medium range that had been previously stuffed in the way-back part of the closet. Really, really nice stuff - merino wool, cashmere, linen, silk, etc. Most of my bigger stuff was from Target and a splurge would be from a discount store or outlet mall and the fabrics were pretty eh. And pay to have a pair of big pants tailored - no way! Yet all my smaller clothes have lovely cuffs and hems perfect for my many, many pairs of heels. In fact looking back on my wardrobe from last winter I think there were like 4 pairs of pants and 3 skirts that were in the rotation for work and thatís it. I wore them all with either my trusty Dansko clogs or my winter boots (admittedly a nice pair of Cole-Haans). I understand my thinking Ė why spend a lot of money on clothes that I donít like fitting into? Maybe by not buying nice expensive clothes Iíll will myself to diet and exercise until I fit into the smaller clothes. But looking at this from another vantage point, when Iím smaller I probably look good in more of everything Ė cheap, expensive, whatever Ė so when Iím bigger why not spend the money to buy a decent well-fitting and flattering wardrobe so I at least look better on the outside when I feel crappy about myself on the inside? I know Iím worth it so why donít I invest in myself at any size? Something to think about, especially while tossing a pair of Hilfiger stretch cords in the garbage that my co-workers are probably beyond tired of seeing me in (and besides which, they have a growing hole by one belt loop where my choice of underwear shows through forcing me to wear them with a long sweater. I kept them because they fit and I didnít want to have to shop for another pair).

I agreed to perform (for those who know me and my freakoutitude at doing just about anything in front of people, this WILL be in front of an audience) the latest dance from the continuing Belly Dance class. Weíll perform twice Ė one at something called a Birth Ball (I think it raises money for doulas or home-birth or something like that. I donít have kids, donít ask me) and once at Scone Fest (Iím not so much into birth, but SCONES! Thatís something I can get behind). Itís not a solo or anything, so Iím hoping that the safety in numbers concept carries me through. That and there is the lure of costumes. Iím a whore for accessories. Itís a Bollywood number, so think uptempo Ė more percussive and less swoony. I think the song is the title track from a movie called Dus Bahane which, from the video I saw on YouTube, looks like the Indian version of Reservoir Dogs. Itís full of stereotypical boy-things: strippers, guns, motorcycles, fast cars, and the requisite doe-eyed ingťnue. Most amusing.

Friday dinner: Wound up going to my favorite chicken place with Tam and Alli (and baby Cali) and I had a quarter chicken (white meat) with the following sides: beet salad, brussel sprouts, macínícheese (not too cheesy) and then the three of us shared a slice of chocolate cake and a banana pudding (neither of which got finished).

Lunch: Buddig turkey on 7-grain bun with slice of no-fat cheddar, 100 calorie Curves brand chocolate/peanut butter Ďenergyí bar (donít judge - it was a free sample).
Dinner: Salami and gruyere on a baguette (all full-fat versions and no surprise - it blew away the Buddig on the grainy bun). Sample box of cinnamon toast crunch cereal.
Exercise: one hour stability ball class, half hour on the elliptical, half hour of free-weights. Whew.

Breakfast: Went out to a yummy diner and I had ĺ of a cheddar and bacon omelette with a side of hash browns and two slices of toast. Hey, you have to live once in awhile.
Dinner: guacamole & chips (I managed to NOT make a pig of myself) some sort of Swiss sausage on a bun, small scoop of potato salad, scoop of broccoli salad, scoop of oreo cookie gelato with a Whole Foods two-bite blondie.
Exercise: nada Ė too ouchie from the day before.

Breakfast: 8 oz of a yogurt/fruit smoothie, slice of whole wheat bread with butter (damn the receptionist for bringing in a freshly baked loaf!).
Lunch: hastily eaten sliced tomato and a WW Smart Ones pasta primavera.
Snack: apple.
Dinner: sauteed chicken breast with red rice (I found it at a gourmet shop Ė it looks like brown rice and is whole grain, but it has a red tint) and patty-pan squash. Yum. I bet that Iíll have a glass of wine and a two-bite blondie.
Exercise: Boot Camp Ė more running, agility exercises, plyometrics, sprints (I was actually kind of fast if I do say so myself), strength & ab work. I know it always seems like I list a lot of things, so hereís a typical breakdown: 10 minute run to start class, arm strength with resista-bands (tricep & bicep, and some chest/back) three sets split up with 15 jumping jacks between sets Ė 15 minutes, agility stuff (jumping over mini-hurdles then 10 push-ups, switch stations and hop over a rope ladder on the ground and then 15 push-ups) for about 15 minutes, relay drills (sprints) 10 minutes, ab work 10 minutes. They really, really keep us moving. There is no standing around in Boot Camp.

3:49 p.m. - 2007-09-24


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