tobermory's Diaryland Diary

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Radiation Ranch

They started radiation treatments on my mom it should buy us a little more time.

I dont really have much experience with death. My maternal grandparents were dead long before I would have been conscious of them (G-father died in WWII, G-Mother died shortly after I was born massive stroke) and my paternal grandfather died before I was born. My Dads mother died in 1998 at the age of 98, and her sister died a year or two later at 96 I was sad when they died, but it was time and in some ways even a bit of a blessing because they were both so very old and had lived full lives. When your Grandmother has been asking for a visit from Dr. Kevorkian for her last 5 birthdays in a row you know its time. I dont really know how to act how to accept comforting and support. I just dissolve into a sobbing heap. And every time I visit the hospital I cry I so dont want to upset my mom but I cant help it. I swear I look like Ive aged 10 years in the last week because Ive cried all the moisture out of my face I should put a small container of moisturizer in my purse.

Thats all for today I have to post quickly because our internet service will be disrupted for the rest of the day.

Resolution Diary:
Exercise yesterday: 1 hr. pilates class. What-evah. I might be done with pilates for awhile at least at the gym. There has to be some other class at around the same time that I could take instead maybe a Muscle Definition class. I think I will investigate getting a couple of instructional DVDs though for at home use. Im wondering if yoga right be better now help me attain some sort of inner peace.
Dinner yesterday: I had some of the leftover jambalaya from Sunday, salad, a beer, and two lemon cookies for dessert.
Breakfast: coffee w/milk
Lunch: I think Steve is concerned that Im not eating much so hes trying to temp me. He packed my lunch today and put in a hunk of good Italian bread and a container of my favorite chicken salad from Treasure Island grocery store. I have to post this early because were having work done on our T1 line so Ill post tomorrow whether or not its tempting enough.
Reading: I read a bit more of The Cat Who last night. It still sucks. I cant believe that this book could ever be published the characters are lame and the plot is meandering and hackneyed. Waiting eagerly for my copy of The Ghost Orchid to get shipped form Amazon. I knew I should have ponied up for faster shipping.

10:20 a.m. - 2006-02-01

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